Kill Claudio! Cast

Granthony Helga Christopherson was born on Thursday September 17th a bunch of stuff happened and well now here you are. Grant has performed in plays prior to this one; all of them in fact, every single one. Every play you have ever seen he was there…lurking. He plans on dying Thursday September 71st so that his life will have perfect symmetry.

Welcome to Bobby's World, a being of little talent and a lot of mischief that has been wreaking havoc in the entertainment industry since 1987 (yup, he olde!) Originally from the Deep South but now settled in the wild lands of Salt Lake, Bobby leaves a trail of laughter, tears (mostly his own), and awe behind him at renowned theater companies like (Insert Name Drops Here)... (Seriously, Drop Some More Names Here). In a past life (well, for eleven years, but who's counting?), Bobby took on the dangerous but noble task of being a performing arts educator, molding young, apathetic minds in high school. He was also anointed with the honorable title of "associate instructor" at the prestigious University of Utah, where he mastered the art of telling students what's good and bad in the world of art (as if anyone knows). When Bobby steps onto the stage, prepare yourself for a muffled whirlwind of potential hilarity, energy that may or may not underwhelm, and a few questionable dance moves thrown in for good measure. You never know what he'll do next, I mean, he doesn't even know. But one thing's for sure: if you're in the audience, you're in for a wild ride. So buckle up, grab your imaginary popcorn that you wish you had, and get ready to witness the mildly entertaining but always memorable Billy Cootie!

Elise has many dead plants in her room but she swears it was all accidental. (Except for the Philodendron. He had it coming.) She has never personally owned a lizard, but she has heard wonderful things. Just over a year ago, Elise was able to participate in the next iteration of "Hands Across America." It was just her and Cletus Johnston from Tupelo, Mississippi that showed up, but together (separately), they're certain they bridged some kind of divide and did the world a whole heap of good. Elise would like to thank Brenda Locke, the mayor of Surrey, for being her eyeshadow inspiration.

Andrew is the last remaining Scion of an illustrious family of Latvian potato farmers. Potato farmers in letter, vodka kingpins in spirit. His family motto is "back in my day." His family crest the mythical ice slug. One day he hopes to bring the bootlegging ways of his family to this new country.

The first recorded mention of Briana can be found in an account of late 18th-century France, though even then there were whispers and rumors that she had already been alive for many centuries at this point. Some historians have uncovered cryptic ancient glyphs dating back to late Mesopotamia that appear to depict Briana Fisher, although this is a subject of much contention. Briana is twelve years old and twelve thousand years old. Briana remains. Briana contradicts herself. Briana can shapeshift into a rabbit and is a cheerleader and a chupacabra. Briana is powered by milk tea and sweet red bean paste.

Count Jeffrey began his riches to rags story as a professional mountain climber who was propelled to fame after a chance meeting with geologist ,Otto Lidenbrock, as he was preparing his descent into the Icelandic volcanic crater of Snæfellsjökull. Lindenbrock was in the process of making a hazardous journey to the center of the earth. Since Jeffrey was a man with many connections, he offered to help Lindenbrock with supplies for his journey. Jeffrey’s only caveat was that he would join Lindenbrock on the journey. Flash forward many months and hazardous adventures later, the center of the earth was found. Jeffrey was made an honorary Count of Stromboli, Italy, after he and Lindenbrock were ejected out of an active volcano in the area . But much mismanagement of the Stromboli government and funds led Jeffrey to be literally kicked out on to the street. His only recourse was to plead his case to the public and somehow save his name and persona from further shame. He became a political philosopher and inventor of Steampunk jewelry and accessories. Hit him up after the show for his entire catalog. Cheers!

Cami began existence as a puppet created by the old woodcarver, Geppetto, brought to life by the blue fairy, and set on a quest to prove herself worthy to become real. After being abandoned in the jungle, Cami was adopted by and lived happily with a pack of wolves until the return of the man eating tiger, Shere Khan, threatened her safety and forced her animal gurdians to deliver her to the "man village" to be with her own kind. Cami soon found the villagers being harassed and overburdened with taxes by their evil Prince John and his henchman, the Sheriff of Nottingham. Together with her sidekick Little John and her band of merry men, Cami launched a campaign of wealth redistribution and successfully freed the villagers from tyranny. With all that behind her, Cami is excited to be back on the stage and is thrilled to be a part of the Kill Claudio cast.

Christopher burst into existence before the dawn of time. He has watched, patiently, for eons until the moment was right to step in and take charge and say, "No, we will not have sweet relish on these hot dogs!" Since that bold statement, he has gathered a following. You might call it a cult. You'd be right. But you'd also be sorry. Sorry that you failed to see his genius. Well no more! Behold the Benedick you didn't know you wanted, and cower before his unrelenting equanimity! (Yes, I know it doesn't make sense.) Also, tip the servers before you go. They deserve your money more than you.

Chris has totally done cool stuff before. Lots of cool acting things. Really, there's too many to list here. Totally real though. Where, you ask? Oh, at a different theater. You've never heard of it. It's in Canada. But they were really cool though, everyone loved it. You should go sometime! When's the next one? Oh, that's actually a really good question, the venue is booked solid with live music for a while, so it's tough to say. Yeah a bunch of famous and cool bands tour there, it's a pretty big deal. What bands? Oh, I forget their names. Look, I gotta head out, my ride is waiting for me.